Tuesday, January 24, 2012


I understand that, to a certain extent, the world operates on negativity. War's pretty much the first thing that ever happened when there was more than one person. Strife and conflict are cornerstones of the human condition. I just don't understand why it has to be that way. Really. Why? Why all the bad and the hurt? Why can't people be happy... being happy?

I'm not a complete imbecile.  In the simplest terms, for something to be good, there has to be bad so you can tell the difference. Dark needs light and vice versa. And there are very real reasons to get pissed off--debate is healthy! And to fight, when you've been beaten down and oppressed and your rights are taken away and the conditions under which you're living become unbearable. Yes, get angry! Don't take it anymore! It's necessary to stand up for yourself, to push back. But there was some pretty low stuff that had to happen to cause uprisings in the first place. And I want to know, why that? Why greed, and powergrabs? Why not operate with reason and logic and compassion?

I don't want to live in a world of greyish complacency. I'm not saying that. Without fire of the human spirit we'd lose a lot of the art of the world, a lot of amazing accomplishments are borne of grief and depression and what-have-you. But there's enough death and tragedy that comes about organically, and I just can't figure out after all these years I've lived why people have to go out and create fights and drama and toxic feelings.

I don't mean to be cryptic, there's not one thing that's pushed me to a Network moment. It's a lot of things coming to a head at once, like the nasty political climate and the realization that Mob Wives is a thing and that people love it. That there's evidence all around of people being impossibly immature and self-centered, that more statuses I read on social networks dwell on the bad, on snark and superiority, than promoting joy and humor and fun. Society is bringing me down, man, and I don't want to be susceptible to that any more.

For some reason, even though I've gotten jaded over the years, I'm basically wired to seek happiness. To look to the positive. I do not exist in a state of permanent denial (though I think if we don't all exercise a certain amount of denial we'll never be able to get out of bed in the morning). There's shit to be mad about, and sad about, and some of it is in my control but most of it is not. So I guess I have to exercise my option to create, to tailor the world I live in to be the world I want to live in, that I want for my loved ones, especially my child. If there's the bottom line, it's that.

 Just needed to get that off my chest. As you were.

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