Amateurs

Mike and I will be flying to Arizona in a couple of months to attend a friend's wedding. We're pretty psyched for the getaway, to see some great guys and get a preview of warm weather. But the anticipation of good times is in danger of being overshadowed by anxiety: I'm already starting to get the hives thinking about leaving HR at home. I know he'll be in good hands, and I've already made peace with the fact that we're departing on his second birthday (it'll be years before this means anything to him) but the longest we've been apart is one night and three nights... what is going to go through his head? You can't really prepare a child that young for an absence, so we'll just hope for the best. The time will fly, I'm aware of that. But the idea of being so far away scares me. And just the thought of not hugging him for such a long time, and of him missing us and not knowing what's going on, it gives me a lump in my throat. I can't even let myself picture it. The vulnerability of children will be the death of me.

I can't let my nerves about the whole thing spoil my fun. But they are very prominent, and very real. I swear I didn't have this many feelings before I was a mother. Ah well, yet another opportunity to thank Dionysus for wine.