Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Sick of Your Mouth and Your 2% Milk

The countdown is on: approximately 19 days of pumping left. At this point I'm only doing it to keep my milk supply going while I'm away from the boo during the day - it's not like I'm producing much any more, more often than not my three sessions only add up to one bottle for the next day and we supplement the rest with formula. As you know from my early agonizing here, it wasn't the ideal plan, but I made peace with it long ago. He's used to taking a bottle (we're slowly getting him used to a sippy cup) so I expect the transition, when we go to the cow-produced stuff, should be pretty smooth. I'm not giving up the breast completely though, I figure I will probably keep the nighttime nursing for awhile, and possibly first feeding in the a.m. if I have enough both for reasons both selfless (the antibodies and such can only do him good) and selfish (I'm not ready to give up that bond altogether). It's funny because in the beginning when the going was rough I couldn't imagine that there would be a time when I wasn't ready to be done with the whole enterprise, but somewhere around the 4th or 5th month everything just clicked and it's been a really great experience. And if I'm just going to lay it all out there, odds are good that I'll never be doing this again. So I'm not in a big rush to end it completely.

Once I do, though, I'm ready to get dronk! Not that I haven't been drinking all along, but moderately. I forget what a good old fashioned tie-on feels like. I do remember what hangovers feel like and I don't miss them. But I've got some big celebratory occasions coming up, and when I know HR is in good hands with a loving sitter, it's ON. Not that it will take more than three drinks to get me smashed now that I'm a mama, it's just one of those cliches that are based on truth. Stop me though if you see me accepting a glass of white zin. Isn't it amazing how you step back and look at yourself and think, "at one time I was this guy, but now I'm unequivocally this guy"? Oh, life.

No theme this week, just songs I like. Ween is in my top 5 bands of all time, and not only is this one of my top 5 of their entire catalog, but I was at this show. I was jittery because it was only the second time I had left HR and my sister almost got hit by an errant punch from a stupid fight in our vicinity but it was summer and we were on the Pier and the fog rolled in as it got darker and it was magical. 


  1. This was nice to read, because I'm really torn between wanting to give up altogether (bad/no latching, painful plugged ducts EVERY DAY, feeling tied to my apartment) and wanting to push through no matter what, because I know it's better for him (except for my being a stress basket about it). I hope it clicks eventually for us, too.

  2. It's a really personal decision, and keeping on might not be the best thing for you guys, but if it helps to know it, we definitely had a rough start. I had to work really hard to correct a bad latch, but eventually we got it and then it was the easiest thing. So best of luck! May you get through the tough stuff soon, and be kind to yourself. -D