Dance All Night, Play All Day

I haven't been writing about it because I said I wasn't going to write about HR's sleeping issues unless I had something positive to say, but I need to get this out. We've had one of those grueling runs wherein Mr. Man wakes up every night around 3:30 and won't go back to sleep, no matter what. I was doing great for awhile at cutting out the middle-of-the-night nursing, but when this happened for the mmmphth consecutive night, I resumed my post as the human pacifier. Because sleep, oh sleep, what lack of you will make a person do.

Cut to, last night: after seeking advice from countless avenues including friends who have had sleep success with their own young 'uns, I decided to give my last resort a try, the dreaded "Cry It Out" (when I see those words I always hear an ominous echo). We did our normal bedtime routine, and I rocked him for a few minutes, kissed him and put him in his crib, then I left the room. I decided to give it an hour, and if he was still crying after that, I'd resume my usual means. So he cried, and it was tough, but not as bad as I thought, and after five minutes I went in, patted him and told him I loved him. Then I left the room for ten minutes. Patted, reassured. Then 15 minutes. I watched him obsessively on the monitor the entire time. And by the end of that last 15 he was asleep. I couldn't believe it! He was capable of putting himself to sleep without too much trauma... this would change everything! Yes! So Mike went up to check on him a little while later, and found my poor baby drenched in sweat and vomit. Mother of the year, ladies and gentleman.

As I said, I was watching him and listening, and he did cough a lot, but he has been coughing due to a cold, and I never heard a noticeable upchuck sound. I just felt so bad I can't even tell you. I still feel terrible. Of course he was fine. We cleaned him up and put him back to sleep and he didn't wake up again until after four (and I was able to get him back down until after six) and when he was up for the day he was all smiles, all was forgiven. So the thing here is that, all things being equal, I could handle doing the CIO method for a week or so it is said to require. I'm strong enough, and it doesn't seem to fundamentally affect his temperament. But if it means stressing him out to the point that he's physically compromised, it's unacceptable to me. Admittedly it was dumb to try to start something like this when we're messing up his routine anyway by traveling, but the point is we do need to make a change when we get back. I'll talk to my pediatrician about it and see if he has any ideas. In the meantime, it's the old bounce/nurse/hope/coffee solution. We've made it this far, what's a little while longer?

Cripes. On the upside, I just ate the best salad I ever invented borne of random refrigerator contents: mixed greens, green beans, walnuts, blueberries, cold roasted potatoes, goat cheese and balsamic vinaigrette. So good. It's comforting to know I have a career in raw chef-ery if I eventually fail out of mothering.

I heard this on my drive in this morning, and it helped.