Realizations

This weekend's early chanukah gathering was off the proverbial hook. All children and adults were shamefully spoiled, present-wise, but more importantly, it was a nice day of visiting and playing and sitting by the fire and plowing through some serious food. Latkes, am I right? I have to blaspheme and say they were overshadowed this year by steak sandwiches with an out-of-this world homemade chimichurri. But potato pancakes, still, are one of the best things of earth (and possibly earth 2).

HR idolizes his big-boy cousins. He wants their attention so badly, I could see him pulling out all the stops (doing his burping impression, laying it on thick with riotous laughter), looking for acknowledgement, some kind of reaction form them. What goes on in these little toddler heads? The boys are great with him, and it was so fun watching them interact. As for his four-months-younger cousin, I think the two munchkins are more content to move in orbit around each other than have a real back-and-forth. They were pretty good at sharing toys though, so that bodes well for future friendship. The excitement of the day was actually a bit much for both little ones, they were adorable, but overstimulated, so much so that our chowhound even refused dinner. We had to stick him in the pack & play a little earlier than usual which allowed us to have a leisurely grown-up dinner while he got some much needed shut-eye. Maybe next year is when the little 'uns will really, really get the whole concept of holiday parties and of being cousins I guess? But any way you look at it, it's all good.

Yesterday was a great day. Sundays have been bringing it as one of my favorite days lately, it's when I have my alone time with HR and we've sort of developed a nice easy schedule for park/lunch/nap/play/walk Dada home from work. When we retrieved Mike in the late afternoon yesterday we lingered at his place for a drink and looking outside at the darkness all dressed up in lights for the holidays it all finally gelled for me the way it does about once a year, that feeling of warmth and anticipation and mostly appreciation. Just savoring the moment with myself and my family. And then on the walk home we took the long way so we could check out Somerville's finest light displays, and I pushed the stroller while HR walked, holding his father's hand. I was a bit ahead so I stopped and waited and as I watched them come toward me I realized OHMYGOD he's not a baby any more. Just like that. He looked so grown. And it broke my heart in the tiniest way, but more than that it filled me up with pride and gratitude, you know? That there was my own little big boy, so healthy and strong, so sure in the knowledge that he'll always have a hand to hold. Even if our sleep woes never change, he's thriving in pretty much every way. When I look at him, I no longer see the helpless squalling bundle we brought home 19 months ago. All of a sudden he's his own person and that person is the bees knees.

Just saying.

Anyway, I've always liked this song. In my head it's being played at the coolest holiday parties that I'll never be invited to, or only exist on TV.