Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Yes, I Know It's Really About God

....and we have a pulling-up-to-standing-in-his-crib guy. In addition to a slept-straight-from-8 p.m.-to-6:15 a.m. last night guy. I LOVE this guy. Not that I have any faith that this will be an every-night guy, but it's a personal best and it gives me hope once again that the buoy marked "sleeping through the night" is bobbing out there on the horizon. By the way, I totally stole the "guy" parlance from Anne Lamott's excellent Operating Instructions, which I highly recommend for first–time parents. Her non-precious irreverence is right up my alley.

I was recently thinking about how when my maternity leave was nearly up, a working mother I know told me that she found her return to work provided a welcome balance to her life. More than half a year into the game, I feel this to be true for me, how it sort of rounds out the corners of my existence in a way that being a stay-at-home mom wouldn't do. I am totally pro- full time parenting (it's all full time parenting, but you know what I mean), if that's what you choose. I'm psyched we were able to work it out for Mike, and it suits him well. But even though I miss my boy like crazy every day, even though I was a wreck when I first had to leave him, I find that I enjoy work and look forward to actually going in a way I never did when it was just me. It's hard to explain without sounding selfish, so if that's how I come across so be it. But beyond the necessity of my job for money reasons, I like that I get to use my brain, to have some time to think and operate in a way that's basically within my own sphere. I know HR is well taken care of, so I shift into work mode and get things done. It's very satisfying. When I work from home, I can never fully compartmentalize, and that's OK, that's part of what I like about it, but if it were every day my productivity would go down the tubes. And then I think about the alone time I spend with my pumpkin, like our Sundays when Mike works, and though he really is the best thing evah, the thought of spending 40 hours a week on nonstop parenting duty makes me appreciate Mike so much. It's the hardest job! I have it way easier, being the one who gets to leave. I don't have any guilt about it, but I acknowledge the exhilarating yet exhausting, never dull but occasionally boring, essential but totally thankless nature of the role of stay-at-home parent. And it is of utmost importance for me to make sure that Mike's heroism never goes unsung.

So if you know how I feel about this song (hint: I feel similarly about the contents of the Diaper Champ after a week's accumulation), then you know what it takes for me to post this to my very own blog. For you, Dada.


  1. You never cease to surprise me when I least expect it. Although I just couldn't press play:) Beautiful entry dear.

  2. Better than a 2 pm ninja poop!

  3. I, too, just couldn't press play. Your writing is so beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes - cheers to YOU and MIKE - 2 wonderful parents