Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Judge Judy and Executioner

I'm pretty easygoing, as a rule. I tend to mind my business and appreciate when others do the same. But I'm also judgmental. I don't want to be. I don't mean to be. But I am, and always about the same types of things. Heads up, Ima judge you, harsh, if:

- you litter. Good people don't litter. Period.

- you refer to your child as a little prince or princess on a regular basis. That's obnoxious.

- you have a problem with homosexuality for any reason including religion. Especially religion.

- you can't pay for BLANK essential, but you find a way to afford a pack of cigarettes (to be clear I'm not opening this up as a debate whether, say, our welfare system is flawed, just saying maybe it's time to quit).

- you ride a bicycle in the city, which is awesome, but pick and choose which laws to obey. You guys who don't stop at lights and stop signs are killing me.

- you are suspicious of intellectualism, or think emphasis on smahts is something to be feared or ridiculed.

- you get defensive when people disagree with you about art. Sure I might be fixing to tap my miniature internal gavel if you say you don't like the Pixies, but in general I won't be mad at you or take it personally if we don't like the same things. Passion for a subject is one thing, bullheadedness is another.

- you have poor time management skills. Being late every once in awhile is understandable, but all the time is indicative of a larger problem, like maybe you don't value anyone else's time.

- you name your kid something straight up dumb, or something nice but with a whacked-out spelling. Again, this is something that is none of my concern, and part of the reason I never speculated on names with anyone before HR was born was because I didn't want input, but I am side-eyeing people's choices all over the damn sphere. I LIKE that people have the freedom to name their offspring whatever and wouldn't want to have that taken away. It's just that I can't always handle what the whatever entails. And that's my own problem.

I do have a million issues with parenting-specific things, but 1) most decent people share those hang-ups as they are the ones that put kids in danger to some extent (ex. - not watching your kid at the playground AGGHH) and 2) as soon as I judge someone on something, I'm going to end up being guilty of it, so I don't feel the need to elaborate and shoot my foot in advance.

In general, if you behave in a way that doesn't show basic consideration for people besides yourself, I don't like you. In case needing to be liked by me was a thing to be crossed off on your life aspiration poster. I've got a lot more that either don't immediately come to mind or that you don't need to know, but I feel this list was comprehensive enough. Even as I put an emphasis on positivity, it can be refreshing to dip a toe in the curmudgeonly end of the pool. Jump in!

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