Better Late Than Later

I had meant to post a month-by-month pictorial for HR's birthday, and then I forgot. But I still want a visual of how far we've come in a year. Here it is, a couple of weeks late.

Having it all laid out for me like this really brings it home. What a baby goes through in the first year is mindblowing. My boy was a bean, now he's a stalk, growing stronger and more independent by the day. It happened without my noticing, almost. About the first picture: I'm not gonna lie, I was in love with my pregnant belly, I was never shy about posting pictures of it. But I'm one million times more in love with what it produced.

You're Semi-Good-Looking

So, karaoke. I love karaoke. I can trace this directly back to my history as a frustrated performer. I'm not gifted in any particular way, but I do think I could have been if I had cultivated something at an early age. I'm wicked shy, but I've never had a problem getting up in front of people and acting or singing or doing a choreographed routine. Public speaking is another thing entirely. The point is, there's always been a part of me that never stopped craving the spotlight. I often wonder why I didn't  join drama in high school. It's not like I was too busy fending off my many suitors. Sometimes I think that if I had chosen to focus on that or dance or on music early in life and stuck with it, I could have had a shot at, well, something. But I didn't and here we are. I think there are a lot of people like me, which is why Rock Band was invented. And blogs too. You want someone to hear your voice? Well you got it, Missy. It's all the same pretend fantasy thing. Today I want to focus on one of the earliest and most popular sublimated superstars' outlets: karaoke.

For someone who engages in that madness less than once a year, I sure am opinionated about it. But it's a community activity, so there are lots of ways to affect other peoples' good times, and I think it's only polite to abide by some rules. Such as:

-Don't let irony guide your choices. If you pick something cheesy, embrace it. I guess, like most people, I'm offended by hipsters and their penchant for ironic karaoke selections is another way they've ruined things for everyone like cardigans and facial hair. I didn't mean for this to be a ubiquitous anti-hipster rant. Just know for quality karaoke purposes it's safest to go to a place frequented by people out of their 20s.

-Don't pick a song over four minutes long, or with prominent instrumental solos. Few people are entertaining enough to fill that space with their dancing or charisma. Respect your audience. I've always wanted to perform Journey's "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'" which is a very short song, but it's got an interminable "Na na na na na na" chorus that just takes it out of the running.


-Don't be a show-off. We get that you have a very good voice. But you're boring with your note-for-note recreations. Back away from the Celine Dion, Mrs. Pipes, save that for people who are truly terrible and have fun with something else. It's OK to make mistakes. Having fun is the whole point, and striving for perfection is no fun. That's why I never, ever do it in any aspect of my life.

-Don't be afraid to rock out. I worked solely from a female artist catalog for awhile, but Carole King and Lulu didn't let me get outside of myself. Then I discovered a way to showcase my enduring love of hair metal. Def Leppard was made for karaoke - I'm thinking "Bringing on the Heartbreak" or "Photograph" - songs that really challenge your voice and make you fuck up. The audience will love you for it and sing along enthusiastically. Ratt I'm pretty sure never actually existed and hence lends itself perfectly. And Van Halen - get out of here with that Sammy Hagar, I'm talking about Van Halen with one of the world's greatest frontmen, Mr. David Lee Roth Ph. D. Esquire. There are instrumental solos in many of their songs, but they're short enough to endure.

My favorite karaoke performance to date revolves around the inspired choice of Van Halen's "Ain't Talkin' Bout Love" which is poetically gritty and allows for a lot of swagger. I sang this one night in a bar in Providence after a Ween show, when we were hanging out with members of Ween. So I guess I could have sung anything and I would have felt like a rock star, but I'm pretty sure the song made the night all me more magical.

OK, now that you've got that handy dandy guide to awesome karaoke, what's your song?

I Dare You

Weekend what? I think things happened, but I don't much remember them. Hopefully the coming one will be less of a blur. Yesterday was my second Mother's Day, so you know I'm like a total pro at it now. HR and I had a day full o' togetherness, capped off with a nice pint of bitter when we went to collect Mike from work in the late afternoon. The sun shone, the Red Sox won, I got some very nice phone calls. I couldn't, and wouldn't ask for more.

And this is going to be a right MF of a workday, so I'm going to just pretend that this passes for writing and hope you'll play along. Suckers.

What I really wanted to link today was a video of my brother performing at an open mic night last night, but I lack the extreme skill it takes to accomplish such a task. Instead, a little horn for your Monday: listen to this and try not to shake your ass.

Cinco de Drink-o

Happy Cinco de Mayo or whatever. 5/5 was HR's due date, so even though he decided to come a little early, I'll raise a toast to him. What the hell, I like tequila. Pablo actually cried last night because we didn't get him to bed fast enough. Once I lay him in his crib, he put his head down and that was that. It's amazing how much has changed in just over a week. Amazing. I never thought it was possible.

Last night we also had one of my favorite dinners: BIG SANDWICH. Whenever I think of it in my head, I see it in all caps like that because it really is a BIG SANDWICH. Mike gets a loaf of nice fresh bread, cuts it in half, and makes a comically large sandwich out of it that we share. Depending on the size of said loaf it can provide up to six meals. This time around, 1 1/2 each (I've got a bit for lunch, hooray). Tonight we're having BIG SALAD which is another favorite. We really do still cook sometimes, but I'm all for easy, no-stove, free-form dinners, especially on nights when Dada has to go to work.

Tomorrow I work from home which means I probably won't update, but I would be remiss if I didn't note that this weekend brings my beloved Pup's birthday (he would have been 87). I've never stopped missing him. I never will. And Sunday is Mother's Day, of course. This is a holiday I don't care about for myself (besides, if my lovely boy weren't gift enough, he's granted me my dearest wish of sleep) but I do feel I must give a loving shout-out to my glorious Ma, two outrageously wonderful grandmothers, and a mother-in-law who loves me like her own. Not to mention the host of friends and family who are the world to their kids, and those who are no less mothers to people despite them never having kids of their own (I'm thinking specifically of my Aunt Sue and dear Peggy).

This one's for alllll y'all.

Cue: Hallelujah Chorus

So HR slept through the night. No big thang.

!!!!!!

Clearly it's the biggest thing in the world. Last night was a mega-breakthrough - not only did he lay himself down in his crib with nary a whimper at bedtime, but he didn't make a peep until after 5 a.m. I know that's super early, but whatever. After a little morning nursing, he went back down until after 7. If this is as good as it gets, I can happily live with it. But there's no reason to believe it won't get even more awesome. Of course I know better than to think that one night means this is how it will be forever more, but it's a sign people. A sign that reads: "We All Gon' Get Some Sleep Up In Herrre." No really, I'm putting that on a poster and hanging it in his room. Mike especially will love that.

I did some yoga last night after I put the baby to bed, just a gentle 20 minute practice, but I have been seriously neglecting my mental and physical well-being as a by-product of my fatigue and this is my way of reclaiming it. I know I should have been doing it all along, it would have been more helpful than wine and TV therapy, but knowing and doing are two things. I'll still engage in the more fun things of course, but unless you have been through this you can't understand how freeing it is to be able to count on some nighttime predictability and what it means for the quality of your life. More yoga for mama! Then maybe even some running (or any activity that will help get rid of the sad face that is my midsection)? I have a huge list I've been compiling of things like that, things I used to do and enjoy that I might get back to once I'm not so dang tired, like returning to regular platelet donations. To have the prospect of checking off items on that list is like winning the lottery. I know, the first world tribulations of the parent of a healthy, happy baby. Acknowledging that doesn't do a thing to dampen my glee at the latest development.

Our passive/aggressively nice neighbor brought us a bunch of lilacs from her bushes last night and now my house smells of every wonderful springtime association, of rebirth and of sexy and of fleeting and of purple, but not too purple. Whatever the best smell is to you, that's it to me. It's all coming together, people.

My New Motto is Embedded in Here...

We still haven't achieved all-the-way-through-the-night sleep, but the events of last night made me dare to hope for its appearance on the horizon. I haven't allowed myself to even entertain that kind of hope for so long because it was just getting demoralizing. But we're getting a little closer with every night. And considering a new tooth has come through in the midst of the training, I'd say the little champ deserves a reward beyond a good night's sleep for its own sake. Maybe we'll finally buy his birthday present. We are planning to get him a kitchen set, so as soon as we build on that extra wing onto our house for baby stuff, we'll get right on that. Good thing he doesn't know how to mark time yet, I guess.

I have a lot of work I need to get done before an evening meeting, so here's a Great/Awesome/Happy blitz:

-E. Lockhart - you should read all her books if you haven't. I just finished Real Live Boyfriends and I miss Ruby Oliver already.

-Stewart O'Nan - I started Wish You Were Here right after I finished the Lockhart book. His Last Night at the Lobster is a masterpiece. He's probably my favorite current author.

-Cupcakes - even when they stop being trendy they'll still be what they are: tiny cakes that exist to give you a jolt of sugary sunshine (even when you're supposed to be cutting the sugar now that you're not burning all those milk-making calories). Fuck it. Cupcakes!

-Massages, for real. I am sitting on a certificate for a massage from last Mother's Day. Time to dust that puppy off and spend it up, methinks.

-This clip from Glee, because though I openly criticize the show, it still usually finds a way to make me smile. Did you spot Legacy from So You Think You Can Dance? How he didn't get a solo in this number was baffling, but it's good to see him getting work.



BARBRA STREISAND!

A Ball of Confusion

Oh my what a weekend! Friday was the most perfect day, Mike declared it a "Ferris Bueller" kind of day, and while I didn't exactly play hooky, I didn't get a lot of work done. HR had his one year check-up and was declared best baby ever. Well not exactly in those words, but he's one healthy little monkey and our pediatrician was great as always. We talked with him about the merits of our different farm shares, which I guess officially makes us yuppie parents. After our appointment we went out for a long lunch and sat outside. Our little adventure eater can now add french fries to the table food he's tried and enjoyed. Now that he has almost four teeth, he seems to have developed a rather refined palate and it warms my heart to see him taking pleasure in flavors and textures. For breakfast we often share toast spread with avocado. He loved cheese ravioli on Easter. And the list of "sometimes" foods he goes wild for (ice cream, pancakes, cookies) grows every day.

Saturday we attended a charity walk and got to bop around gorgeous surroundings in beautiful weather. Spring in New England, there's really nothing more glorious. It almost makes the winters worth it. Almost.

As for the sleeping, well, after Thursday--which was by far the worst night so far in the experiment--he's consistently put himself to sleep every night. There are a few tears, but nothing major. He's really getting the hang of it. And I've watched him wake up and put himself back to sleep on the monitor. We're still plagued with the 3:30 a.m. extended wake-up, but I'm giving that one more week to see if it resolves itself before we start the middle-of-the-night sleep training. The progress, I have to say, is remarkable and undeniable.

I celebrated with back-to-back episodes AMC's The Killing, which is my new addiction. So good. And I'm also psyched now that Treme is back. It gives me a funny, full-circle feeling to watch it while the baby is in his crib asleep because I remember it started last year around the time he was born and I used to watch it during the endless feedings or when I held him as he slept because it was the only way he would sleep back then. It reminds me that even with the current frustrations, we've come so, so far. And Treme is worth it for the music alone.

Oh yeah and then that Osama Bin Laden thing happened. It's not like I don't have an opinion - I won't miss him. He was a hate-filled person who lived to cause suffering, and I can't get behind that. That won't have died with him, unfortunately. It will most likely only inspire further acts of violence in his name, it's the oldest of stories. Philosophically I have issues with revenge and eye-for-an-eye justice. But it's done, and if it brings people peace, please let it.

This is in no way disparaging to our country's military, I am grateful for them every day. And I'm not naive. It's just that in my heart, even though I know it's not the way the world works, I will never give up on peace and love, of taking care of one another instead of fighting.