I Also Read Books

Last night, between deciding that George's daughter's wedding dress on Bored to Death was the exact dress I'd choose if I had it to do over again, and unhealthily obsessing over Amy's plaid frock on Enlightened (seriously, anyone know where I can buy it?), I realized that I'm way into clothes. I guess I was as a younger person, but by senior year of high school, which conveniently coincided with the grunge craze, I became all about function in how I chose to outfit myself. I've had fits and starts of being into personal fashion here and there, but these efforts were smothered in a closet full of jeans and hoodies before they could really take off. For some reason I'm getting all up in it again now, choosing signature pieces, paring down the rest. I'm far from stylish, but I'm developing my own style for real. I know what I want and I'm willing to wait for it to come along instead of buying cheap things willy-nilly. The jeans and hoodies will always be there for me, but they are no longer my uniform. I'm sure you're thrilled to know all that. It's just sort of baffling to me how I couldn't have cared less for so long, and now I'm all, "yay clothes!"

Last night I dreamed that I made out with Ed Helms. I'll spare you the nonsensical build-up to the event, the point is I never thought about him in that way before going to sleep last night, but now I realize I'd probably make out with the Nard Dog if given the chance. I've always been attracted to comedians. Ask my parents, until I was in college I was pretty sure I was going to end up marrying Jerry Seinfeld. I changed my mind about his marriage potential at some point, but he's an early example of how funny sells as much as sexy. Not that I'm buying right now, but hey, I can't help my dreams.

In conclusion, I probably watch too much TV.

Do you love Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers? That's not really a question. Of course you do. (Keep in mind that while the clowns and snowman plushies in this clip are a bit disturbing, they're not as disturbing as what poor Kenny's since done to his face.)

Sigh

See? Wasn't that ridiculously fast? Didn't I just write that post about time about five minutes ago and here is a week gone by already? Dang. At least I still have the rest of the holiday season to keep me buoyed up, but I have to say I hit a pretty low point yesterday when my house cleared out after the extended weekend of family, food and games. Thanksgiving happened! There's no more Thanksgiving to anticipate this year! You know? Sure you know. Anyway. The return to quiet and relative order was nice after a bit, but I was feeling a smack of depression that I recognized well. It's the kind that lets me know I just had a great time because I get a homesick feeling when it's over. What a luxury to realize that when I'm feeling down, that's almost always the reason, and after a little taking stock and adding some distractions (escapist TV such as Once Upon a Time and various Hallmark channel holiday movies that shall not be named, or more accurately cannot be named because they are all comfortingly the same; thoughts of what's to come, and of course my increasingly hilarious 19-month-old pal), it's easily remedied. As ever, I am so lucky.

Also I'm bombarded at work, as will be the norm for awhile, so that's all I have time for today, except to say, bring on the rest of the winter holidays! Just not too quickly.

Oh, and here's the first pick of Joyberry Pie's second annual holiday music free-for-all. Starting off on a very mellow tip.

TG IN YOUR FACE

I think I might love TG eve more than Thanksgiving. If you've known me or read this thang for any amount of time, you probably already guessed this. The point is, I'm all a-hum with merriment, even as I'm a little bummed out because a snowstorm up north will most likely keep my family from getting here until tomorrow morning. I'd much rather they travel in safe conditions, but nature can be a real pain in the tuchus sometimes.

Anyway, as I stated earlier, I'm monumentally thankful for everything in my life. I have more than anyone has a right to, and I know it. But it wouldn't be like me if I didn't jump on an opportunity to make a list. Below are ten things for which I'm currently especially thankful that aren't big things like family and friends and health and job, not because I take them for granted, but because those are always at the top of my list and I imagine it gets a bit boring to read about year after.

1) The Minuteman library network, including the new electronic borrowing system. I am never sans reading material. It's a dream.

2) Music - old stuff, new stuff, I'm all about it. We try to keep the TV off and music on for most of the day at home, and I've been really digging the Stage & Screen station on Music Choice. If HR doesn't grow up to be a Broadway nerd, it won't be from Mama's lack of trying. Plus now that it's nearly December, it's full license for holiday tunes all the time.

3) Beans. All the kinds. They are a totally awesome cheap and nutritious food staple in our house that all three of us love. Coincidentally (?) the little boy is starting to appreciate fart humor.

4) Sleep. It's still not perfect, but we've come a long way. Maybe this time next year I'll be even more thankful for even more sleep, but if this is the best it gets I can deal.

5) Coffee.

6) The return of Beavis & Butt-Head. No further comment needed.

7) Photographs - I love my phone camera and digital camera, but there's nothing to me like a picture in a frame. We just hung a few new ones this morning, and I love having the visual record of our lives. We'll run out of wall space by the time the kid is three, but we'll deal with it then.

8) Cheese. Food in general always gets a shout-out, but I'm ridiculously glad I'm not vegan or lactose intolerant. I could give up meat rather easily but cheese? That'd be a struggle.

9) Dates! Not the fruit (though they are not without their charms), but the time I get to spend with my husband, just the two of us. It's become a rarity, and maybe that's what makes it so special, but any time we can get to be grown-ups together, away or at home, is rad.

10) Even with that said, and even if it's cheating given the preamble to the list, I can't not mention our little big boy, who will turn 19 months old in a couple of days. Because he is the best thing of best things ever. He is such a loving monkey, free with his cuddles and kisses, and I can't help melting when he says my name, "Mmmumma." He is getting to be so smart, learning so much that I can't even keep up. Part of me wishes I could keep him at this exact stage, but the biggest part of me is so honored, so excited to be able to share in what's to come. I know Mike and I made him and junk, but he's undeniably his own person now and he's the person at the top of my list.

So there you have it. Happy Thanksgiving to all, hoping all of you loves (for whom I am super thankful, every one) are celebrating in the way that means to the most to you! I wanted to end today's entry with a song in honor of Thanksgiving. I chose this one, though it's not strictly a song about the holiday, it's a song about gratitude in its own way. I can't actually listen to it because it makes me bawl uncontrollably, but it's super beautiful and moving.

Sweat is Gonna Fill Your Head

This year I'm most thankful for Frank's Red Hot. Everything else in my life can go eff itself. Not really, durr, I just can't imagine what I'd do without Frank's. It elevates just about everything, I've yet to come across a bland food that can't be rescued by its flavor-y heat. I love sriracha, Tabasco's OK, there are various other hot sauces that get my approval, but for every day excellence, it's Frank's all the way.

If I were smart I'd find a way to get them to advertise on this thing, but I guess it's too late, I already gushed for free. If they want to send me a case though for my trouble, I wouldn't turn it away.

I know I'm weird, but it's not like I'm the first person to compose an ode to a food item.

But I Like You

The wonderful thing about this time of year is that every day for me is, in its own way, a minor holiday, a series of tiny celebrations. The not-so-wonderful thing is how quickly it all passes, and more quickly every damn year. To wit: I had so been looking forward to this past weekend, and it was a true blast with eating and drinking and swimming and an impromptu appearance from the newest newlyweds in my family. But it was over in a flash, and it was like, did it even happen? It did indeed, as did the official passing of another year in my life. Yep, no denying I'm in my late thirties. I'm ok with that too, I don't fear aging or try to fight it in regard to my person, but I can't help but feel like time itself is a treasonous, kidney-punching dickface. I'll wake up, seemingly tomorrow, and realize that everything to which I've been building up with such giddy anticipation will have passed.

All the more reason I guess to give in to the "hey, it's one big party" mentality, to, say, take your lunch hour to buy a couple of new tops and get a gingerbread latte. Just for example. Anyway. It's busy bee time up in this piece and I've got to get back to the hive. Apropos of nothing, here's a song I just really love.

I'm in Love (with the Black Keys) and I Don't Care Who Knows It

Busy day! Thursdays have been especially packed lately, last week I didn't even get around to writing an entry and I'm sure you all noticed and were very sad.

Next week is the greatest of all weeks: Thanksgiving week. And believe you me, you're gonna hear about it plenty from me so I think we should both start conserving our energy. Speaking of energy: everything about this--song as well as video--is so friggin' great.

Handy Hints and Highwaymen

Remember when two martinis was considered pre-gaming before a night out, and not a recipe for conking out on the couch at 10:30? Ah, youth. It was nice knowin' ya. On the upside, having my partying days mostly behind me saves a lot of muh-neh that I can put toward organic milk and the occasional night in a hotel, just because.

My two favorite joyberries and I will be taking a little overnight roadtrip this weekend and I've so been looking forward to just chilling out and bopping around one of our favorite little cities. I got an amazing rate on one of those residence-type hotels that has a separate sleeping and living area (fine, the unheard-of rate was the impetus to book the room in the first place, since we could easily make the hour drive twice in one day). If you have little guys, these are the bomb because you can stay up and observe a dignified adult bedtime and they'll be snoozing just as comfy in the next room with the door closed. That's my number one tip, so far, when it comes to traveling with a baby - try to get a suite whenever possible. Also: Cheerios. Make sure you have Cheerios with you at all times. Trader Joe's O's and generic forms are also acceptable.

And so, in honor of hitting the highway... (I've been waiting for the right time to post this, when really it's always been the right time.)

The Lucky Ones

I just totally ate pumpkin pie. It was the right thing to do. It's no secret that I'm absolutely mad for Thanksgiving, and this little preview got me especially pumped for the holiday. Lucky then that tonight is one of my very favorite nights of the year: the Annual Thanksgiving Pow-wow. Ever since we started hosting TG dinner at our home, Mike and I pick a night during the preceding week to plan the menu and start making shopping lists. Tonight is that night, and it will be done over martinis and crab cakes. I pretty much like my life.

I didn't take part in the "grateful challenge" thing that's going around this month, but know that, even when I don't say it, I'm rather in touch with my inner gratitude. I'm well aware that I've got it super good on just about every count and I feel thankful for it on the regular. But it never hurts to make a point of acknowledging it, and I love that there's a holiday dedicated to the concept. Maybe the intention has come to take a backseat to the food, but not entirely. Most people take the day to appreciate their personal blessings rather than a treating it as just another big meal or as a springboard to Christmas.

Don't get me wrong, I look forward to the food starting the moment my leftovers run out every year, but I just get this feeling that if I'm doing one thing right in my life--I'm doing plenty half-assed, believe me--but if I'm killing it at one tiny aspect of the living business, it's in embracing my family. Of course they tend to make it easy on me, in that I genuinely like the whole lot of them. But if I'm ever going to have regrets, may none of them be in terms of time I could or should have spent with loved ones. So far, so good, so let's keep it up another year.

Muh-neh Changes Everything

As weekends go, this one was rather capital. For starters I had my much-anticipated concert date and it didn't disappoint. Not only was it great to connect with a friend I haven't seen in too long and meet some chill new people, but Fitz and the Tantrums were so, so good. They just put out so much delicious energy. I'd go see them again in a heartbeat. On the whole I'm not a good live music fan because my distaste at being told what to do extends to concerts. It's like, no, I'm probably not gonna put my hands together because you tell me to. I'm just not gonna make some noise. But I have this involuntary dance thing. I can't NOT get down when the music is that good. And I got down, lots. It was a dancing crowd. Happy times for this mama.

The rest of the weekend continued on a similarly great trajectory with a pub lunch and a baby-and-parents playdate and gorgeous weather. We have a new word from the young man and it is: "money." Rather his version of it, "muh-neh." I'm not sure what to make of his awareness of money one way or the other. But it's a word he knows and there we are. Soon they'll be popping up so fast that I most likely won't get to give much attention to each new one as it comes. Pretty awesome times.

The opening act at the show on Friday made a real impression on me. Usually the opener fails to get my attention, but I thought these kids, Walk the Moon, were just swell. Look at that lead singer go to town with that floor tom!

Nothin' But Love

I'll counteract the verbosity of my last few posts with a short, sweet tribute to the Overweight Lover, Heavy D. I'm probably way sadder about his passing than I have any right to be, but from the first time I saw him get down and embrace his big persona on "Yo! MTV Raps", I was a fan. I haven't seen or heard much from him since his turn in The Cider House Rules, but man, what a loss.

Heavy D, gone too soon at 44.

By All Means, Speak Your Mind

Bullets time!

-I usually stay away from the name "Duggar" because it gives me hives. I've never watched their show for the same reason. But a 20th baby? On the heels of that poor little one who by all means shouldn't have survived? Obviously it's wonderful that she did survive, and medical science is awesome but what are these people thinking? They'll have a lot of competition in this category, but I nominate Mr. and Mrs. Duggar for the "Most Selfish American" award. Lifetime achievement, even. I like to give other parents a break and try to check my judgmental tendencies, but there's a limit. Oh, to go back to the time before I ever heard of them and started imagining what J-name they'd take liberties with next. 

-On the heels of what I just said, clearly babies are rad, and I can see why people want to keep having them. Not 20-freakin'-kids understandable, but I wanted to talk about HR's latest cute thing so I needed a segue. He's started putting his hand up to his head and saying "D'oh!", just out of the blue. Not that he's ever seen The Simpsons, but we do have a lot of Homer-related ephemera lurking around the house and it's a big wake-up call about what the little sponge is capable of internalizing.

-I am going to a real music show on Friday! Fitz and the Tantrums at the House of Blues! I'll be exhausted after the first set--I'm so out of live-music shape--but I don't care! I'm so excited to be doing something like this I have to write in all exclamation points!

-I forgot to write about this yesterday, but another thing I really enjoyed was last week's episode of Parks and Recreation. That show trades honors with Community as the consistently best thing on TV, and last week it went ahead one square. I love every character, and last week to me really belonged to Andy and April. Chris Pine is a revelation. And Aubrey Plaza really brought it at the Grand Canyon, that's all I'm going to say. The way that a show can be capable of this range of subtlety and emotion, the quality of the writing and acting, it's inspiring to me that such care is taken for a TV comedy when the creators could get away with so much less. I understand that people are gonna love their 2 1/2 Men and go to their graves defending its pleasures, but to know that there can also be... this. It's sort of frustrating, but I can't be a jerk and say that everything I don't like shouldn't exist, or stand on my stop-rewarding-mediocrity soapbox. I won't even say it's just a show and nothing to even put much thought into, because while 20 minutes of television is nothing in the face of natural disasters and hunger and atrocity, it's important in its own way. I'll keep to my philosophy of avoiding negativity, instead focusing on championing the things I believe deserve attention, and treasuring them as such. In conclusion, Parks and Rec, be my valentine.

-You fortunate dudes don't know the extent of your luck in me not being able to find a clip of Zoe's "Sippy Cup" song from Sesame Street because it's in my head and I wanted to put it up in hopes of exorcising it. I don't mean to wish this ear worm on you if you happen to know the song, but if I did, I apologize and allow me to replace it with my favorite song of the moment:

It's All Such A Laugh

My life is bringing the entertainment these days, mainly in the form of HR. Despite the havoc wrought upon him (therefore all of us) by daylight savings time ending and the continuous fountain of snot he's running due to a maybe cold/maybe teething/maybe both scenario, he's still been really ramping up the delight factor. 18 months is THE BEST. He's capable of making me laugh at 6 a.m. and I don't think I've said that about anyone, ever.

That said, I've also taken in some amusing bits on the telly and whatnot. For one, we finally watched Bridesmaids. The Wiig deserves a special Oscar for perfectly faking the reaction to pounding scotch in the airplane scene, and it's not news anymore that Melissa McCarthy is fearless and amazing in everything she does. But I'm going to come right out and say that this movie did not deliver like I expected it would. I barely laughed out loud. I don't know if it's a case of it collapsing under its own buildup or what, but I was kind of disappointed. I think it's my fault that I wanted it to be the best movie in the world, so I was unfairly over-critical. Maybe I need to watch it again. Or maybe it just is what it is. I liked it, but didn't love it. I think I'm really just tired of the conventional narrative formula that applies to every movie - down up down. Stasis followed by a high, the inevitable crash, the rebuilding. Every story needs conflict, but does it have to be so predictable, the way in which it plays out? Again, not the fault of the movie, it just called my attention to something that's been frustrating me for a long time.

I also watched Jumping the Broom which was a like-not-love for lots of reasons, but I liked it more than I thought it would. There's this one scene where the groom's cousin tells the best man in his gawdawful prepster top, "Shut up! Look at your shirt!" and its delivery was so good-- I can so see myself using that line to make a point. I realize I do sort of love Mike Epps when he's not being a clown. And it was amazing to be reminded that Gary Dourdain is a dude that exists. Remember Skye when we used to watch like 20 CSI episodes a week? How could I have forgotten about Warrick Brown when he was once such a part of my life? Good to see him getting work. It made me cry once, and not even the part where I realize that there's something called "The Cupid Shuffle" and I lived my whole life until now not knowing about it.

And then Charlie Day hosted SNL, which I hardly ever watch, and his Freakasaurus might have been the best non-baby thing I saw all weekend. Basically it made me so thankful that he's spawning.

Unrelated to any of this, this song came up on my shuffle the other morning and it occurs to me that, though it couldn't be more British, it's really the original 99% anthem.

Sometimes, I Rant

I have a love-hate relationship with Shape magazine. Mostly hate. What I love about it is that every time I flip through an issue, it does rekindle my love of running and yoga and whatnot, in a way that has nothing to do with shame or conformity. I can usually find at least one article that inspires me to stay fit for fitness's sake. It reminds me of how I like the way that exercise and eating well make me feel, how I want to be strong, and though I do catch being critical of my body from time to time, it's not in service of an unattainable goal, let's say, looking like someone else. So how can that be bad, right? However, there's so much more to not love, from the undeniable focus on appearance (when the magazine claims to tout health first) to its gross celebrity--more accurately pseudo-celebrity--worship (Wow, the skinny chick from Laguna Beach got skinnier! See how she did it!). I don't want to know how a rich person with dieticians and personal trainers lost weight. Oh right, by hiring dieticians and personal trainers. Plus it just bugs me that the covers are often completely interchangeable. Overall it's a snooze of a read. I can go through an issue in 10 minutes.

So I got my November/December issue yesterday and without fail it delivered the biggest offense they commit, the obligatory "how not to gain weight during the holidays" article. Every. Damn. Year. And there's never anything new, it's always:- shop at the mall, that burns X calories. Take time for yourself. Alternate cocktails with water. Pick the most special treat and focus on that. Make yourself vomit after dinner.

Ah, it's so stupid! And just sets people up to feel even worse about themselves when they fail, once again, to get through the holidays without overindulging. We've all read it, we've all been indoctrinated  with the notion that there are "good" and "bad" foods and that the price of pleasure is always guilt. For women, at least. OK, only women.




My point is that, at the end of the day, Shape is just another manipulative ladeez magazine. There are token shout-outs to overall health, but mostly it's another way to tell women that if they're not a size 2, they should have the decency to want to be, and that appearance is pretty much the only reason for women to take an interest in fitness. It's part of it for me, I won't lie about that, but it doesn't mean I can't be totally insulted by the insinuation.

Obviously if it makes me so miserable I should unsubscribe. The world could do without that much wasted paper from my household, at the very least. However I don't have a record for paying for this  subscription from, well ever.  I have no idea how it's still being delivered to my door every month. I've just been waiting and waiting for the subscription to run out and it never does. Of course I could just... not read it. But I'm weak, and kind of a masochist. I'd just be happier if I didn't have to see it at all. (WHITE WHINE!)

I don't think it behooves you or me to continue with this rant. But I will leave you here with something to ponder, re: advice on navigating once-a-year splurges. If there are restrictions on your indulgences, are they really indulgences at all?  Discuss.

 

Thumbs Up for Family Nap

Way in which I'm probably screwing up my child #554: napping. But I'm OK with it. I'll explain. HR has a spotty history when it comes to napping. There was one really good stretch when he moved down to one nap and would stay out cold for 1 1/2 to 2 hours every afternoon. It was awesome, and so nice to have a consistent pattern on which to rely. Of course this has been a thing of the past for months now. He'll occasionally nap like his napping salad days, but that's not the norm. Instead he'll wake up after 40 minutes and that is not a long enough nap for a child his age, nor his parents. Enter: family nap. We found that if one of us (on those rare days when we're both home, then both of us) takes him to lie down in our bed vs. trying to wrestle him back into the crib, he'll easily go back to sleep for at least an hour. I have a bittersweet relationship with family nap, but frankly sweet has the edge. Because though it's nice to have a chunk of time to be productive or just have some quiet adult time while the little one rests, it's hard to pass up an hour of guaranteed cuddling. Usually I'll make sure I have a book so I can read while he's snuggled up to me, but often I drift off too and that's OK because everyone in our house can use all the sleep we can get. So yeah, it's always a bonus when I'm on baby duty and he keeps his end of the bargain by getting a full nap, but I never get upset when I hear him squawking before the approved time because family nap is kind of the bomb.

I acknowledge he'll probably never nap normally because of this. But in the long run, I'm not sure how much that matters. Realistically he's got maybe two more years of napping left anyway (with this kid probably less) so as long as he can still nail the nighttime sleeping gig (knock wood), I don't see a good reason to change up the nap method.

Ah acceptance, that great mitigator of parenting stress. It's impossible to be a saint at mama-hood, just as it's hard to be a saint in the city. This guy knows what I'm talking about.

What a Heavenly Way

So the weekend! What serious fun. It was, as always, too short of a time. We were in and out of the city within a 24 hour period. But the wedding was a blast, we enjoyed our friends and our grown-up time, we danced, we ate, we drank, we after-partied, we "slept in" until 9 (even though my body clock had me up a couple of times before that). HR did great on his overnight with grandma, and even though we found out that her power went out on Saturday afternoon, I didn't worry about him at all. I was dying to see him by the time Sunday morning rolled around, but I felt we made the most of our freedom.

Oh yeah, there was that matter of the ridiculous early winter storm that made our ride from Connecticut to New York a white-knuckler and certainly made a very memorable day more memorable for the wedding couple. And as I said it knocked out my mother-in-law's electricity, leaving her with, among other things, no heat. But she's used to outages due to her power-loss-prone location and she's resourceful - plus my boy happens to be a champion cuddler. They kept each other warm and entertained, and it was a true gift to his parents. Upon our return home in Boston we found we were lucky enough to have barely been touched by the storm, and it seems that fall has returned, at least temporarily, so most things have been set right (even though MIL's power was STILL out when last we heard).

Regarding Halloween- Mike decided that after everything, he couldn't bear the thought of our boy going costume-less, so he came up with... this:

I think the consensus was washed-up rockstar? Works for me. He was already scrubbed clean by the time I got home last night, but there was a photo-op and that's what counts.

Now it's November, my favorite, FAVORITE month. And though I won't torture you with holiday music until December, it doesn't mean that I'm not-so-secretly listening to it. But aside from that, yesterday my sister-in-law posted "Strangers" by The Kinks and lamented that most people knew about it because of its inclusion in The Darjeeling Limited. I love that movie, and the song, but I understand how you can feel like something that's yours has been tainted somehow when the rest of the world gets their hands on it in a seemingly unpure way. I feel that way about how my favorite Smiths song got corrupted by 500 Days of Summer, a movie I do not love even though I think I will always love Zooey Deschanel despite the fact the she's the poster girl for the latest made-up term I despise, "adorkable." It's not her fault. I realize I already posted "There's a Light That Never Goes Out" in its original form so here's a cover of it that is super.